Gaming’s Whacked Out Week: Snoop Dogg, Call of Duty Announcer (VIDEO)

Snoop Dogg Call of Duty
"9 out of 10 rappers play this game."

Now, a lot of us are rather partial to a little Call of Duty. Of course we are. But what’s the one thing the franchise has always been missing? Snoop-mothereffin’-Dogg, that’s what. Thankfully, Snoop himself has heard our cries, and has insisted on being included in the new customization pack for Xbox One.

Microsoft didn’t want him to, presumably, but you don’t eff with the Dogg. If he tells you he wants to be a Call of Duty announcer, you can bet your balls that he’s going to be a Call of Duty announcer. Because he’s the kind of badass renegade who will not and cannot be stopped.

So next time you and your homies are popping caps in asses online (fo shizzle), you’ll be treated to Snoopisms such as:
“Squad member active. A brother from another mother.”
“Don't stop. Cap ‘em and shank 'em. Crizzay.”
“Ballistic vest ready. Those are some fine assed threads.”
“Rack up points by reaching the enemy portal. You dig?”

We do dig, Snoop. We dig in a big freaking way. This hits April 22, and we’re all kinds of on board.

Via Kotaku.

Playboy TV Free For a Week to Celebrate Easter (Oh, and Jenny McCarthy Hot Mommy Nekkid Too)

 

If you're symbol is the bunny, you're going to have to do something special for Easter weekend. I mean, sure, the frocks and the hats and the parades and the religious ceremonies and the ham are all well and good, but not quite the same as seeing an entire free week of smoking hot babes galore on Playboy.TV thanks to our Easter giving generous friends at PlayboyPlus.

DO NOT MISS: Playboy.TV One Week Completely Free!

And while we're at it, why not tempt the salacious veins with a look at the most recent set of Jenny McCarthy nekkid in Playboy magazine. She is getting married soon, which doesn't mean we still can't admire her long and storied history with the bunny magazine, but it does mean I have to say a small virtual apology to her New Kids on the Block husband before I enter into fantasy land with Jenny. Just think of all the hotness Playboy has to offer. And, now, it's free for a week. I only pimp products I indulge in myself. Enjoy.

Brooke Burke MILFtastic Workout Posing for Skechers

When I see Brooke Burke, that song I Will Always Love You comes into my head as I imagine finding a sitter for Brooke's thirteen to twenty-two kids she has birthed and renting a room for two at some upscale roadside motel. You know, the kind that breaks the $49,95 price barrier I usually restrict myself too with ordinary dates. Brooke Burke is hardly ordinary, the 40-something MILF showing off her toned body, recovered from all that child making, not to mention a scare with cancer, just still lust-inducing exceptional showing off for a Skechers ad shoot in Los Angeles.

Hot women don't get older, they only get more worldly and desirable. Brooke Burke is the classic example of a woman more smoking than ever before. And I'm not just saying that so she'll choose me to be her boy toy on the side. I don't want to ruin her marriage, just make it better by taking pressure off her husband to satisfy her sexual peaking years desires. I am a helper. Enjoy.

Constance Nunes Bikinis Up Against One Lucky Rock in Malibu For Continued Water Pimping

Look, somebody's got to be pimping this pricey glamorous water. Why not a bevy of bikini clad beauties like Constance Nunes flashing all kinds of sextastic appeal on the beach in Malibu. The more she preens, the thirstier I get. Though that desire is hardly for water, that's a useless substance in the face of tanned hot skin, of which Constance appears to have more than plenty to go around.

I'm not exactly sure why you need dozens and dozens of half-nekkid photoshoots to promote your bottled water. I'm quite sure even the big boys only do a couple of those a year. But if seeing ridiculously hot women like Constance Nunes flaunting their bodies is what it takes to sell a four pack, who am I to argue? Enjoy.

Bella Thorne All Grow’d Up and Sassy for Bullett

Bella Thorne is really starting to feel her oats, which is I think the female version of sewing your oats, though I could be wrong. She's featured all kinds of sassy and starting to get Jenner-like grown up in Bullett magazine, displaying some of her more 'it' girl qualities that will ultimately put her in the Miley and Selena categories of successful Disney graduates at some time in the near future.

The Thorne family have been trying through multiple offspring iterations to hit it big in Hollywood. Based on not only her blossoming film and TV career, but her blossoming before the cameras in increasingly sophisticated looks, I'd have to say they finally made their mark with Bella. Good for them, and for us. Enjoy.

Alessia Tedeschi In An Animal Print Bikini In Miami

Alesia Tedeschi is looking fine as F in a very small animal print bikini. The beauty was vacationing in Mexico when she chose the tiniest most animalistic bikini she could find. Allesia's breasties look fantastic surrounded by animal print. It's almost like we are living in caveman days and she's got her love jugs swathed in a fur her hunter man killed for her. I'm pretty sure, however, that cavewomen never had thong bikini bottoms like she does. They accentuate her perfectly tanned and firm behind. In a couple of the pictures you can see wet sand clinging ever so tenderly to her pants meat. Oh, to be a grain of sand on that derriere...

I just thought of how I'm going to make a lot of money. I'm going to go to Miami and open a bikini store. It's all anyone seems to wear down there. I'm like one of five Cubans who isn't in Miami anyway so it works out.

Holly Peers and Stacey Poole Play Topless Twister for Nuts April 2014

 

Holly Peers and Stacey Poole play the game of Twister we've all been dreaming about since we were teens. The two boobtacular ladies took turns playing the classic boardgame and feeding each other Hula Hoops in what looks like my grandmother's basement rec room. Holly Peers' flesh melons are perfectly shaped and firm while Stacey's sweater hams have more movement to them. Either way, it must be heavenly to be pressed between those four bits of glorious mammary tissue while reaching for right hand green. In one pic, the girls look like they are about to kiss. Is there anything hotter than two girls kissing? I submit that there is not. I remember buying a Twister game for a party when I was 19. I fully expected it to turn into an orgy with a spin of the dial. Instead my friends and I just played while the girls ignored us.

But I can look at these pictures and dream of what could have been...