Rachel Fine Shamelessly and Almost Toplessly Pimping Shittens

Rachel Fine's parents wanted her to be a doctor. Or maybe a female rabbi who wasn't super obviously lesbian. She ended up in low cut tops on the Howard Stern show pushing her handy ass wipes known as Shittens. Rachel's shameless plugging of her ingeniously if not disturbingly unique sphincter cleaners, along with her willingness to appear almost topless, earned her a coveted spot of honor on the pages of Egotastic! As I've told people throughout the years, no, I can not promote your product, though do check that asterisk note about being hot and having big yams.

Rachel Fine, today is your day. Your covering your robust ta-ta's up with disposable, mitten-shaped wet wipes for ten million people to see. I don't see how that isn't the pinnacle of something. Enjoy.

Abbey Lee Kershaw Topless Nekkid All Over Australian Stylish Photoshoot Goodness

 

I do so have a crush on all hot women of Australia. Yeah, it's a broad brush, but my canvas is equally huge if you know what I'm saying, though I don't know myself. Abbey Lee Kershaw falls into my domain of sextastic Aussies. I'd like to think I fall into her domain of pasty white bloated bloggers she'd like to add to her notch on the bedpost. Anything is possible.

Abbey Lee gets all kinds of acrobatic posing and stylish for this Cara Stricker shot nude photoshoot that I doubt will ever leave the happy part of my brain. the Down Under model has got the complete package of hot looks, wicked delightful body, and a penchant and willingness to show herself off the world completely bare. For the sake of art, naturally. Whatever we gentleman oglers take away is just a byproduct. A crazy hot and drool-worthy byproduct. Enjoy.

Michelle Hunziker, My Future Adopted Mommy, My Present Day Bikini Asstastic Swiss MILF

I'm still quite amazed at how rapidly my future adopted mom Michelle Hunziker has recovered from baby making. This isn't like when she was twenty and her had first. This is sixteen years later and likely required a great bit more yoga, Pilates, and stomach crunches to get the tip-top hottie Swiss Miss booty and bikini body back in shape. But she's obviously done just that.

Back on vacation in Italy, she does seem to revel in her fair share of vacation time, Michelle was showing off that stellar new mom again body by the pool, including a fully tight but two-hands grab-able thumper that I would grab myself if it wouldn't be grounds to dismiss my application for adoption. Quite unfair, but I need to keep my hands to myself until the paperwork is official and my new mom can come visit me with cocoa in the evenings without any legal hinderances. Michelle, we are going to be so happy together. Enjoy.

Arianny Celeste Bikini Sextastic for UFC Fight Week

Because of the holiday last week, we almost, almost missed out on the gloriously hot body of Arianny Celeste and a few of her UFC fight friends showing off their wares in Vegas to promote the middleweight title fight over the weekend. Arianny just kills it any time she strips down to her two piece swimsuits and shows off her ridiculously hot body. She truly is one of my favorite. I'd like to think that makes her smile.

If you happened to check out the UFC fight over the weekend, you'd notice there were a few relatively new faces and amazing bodies among the ring girls in attendance. It's quite an honor to have. And quite a sight for ogling eyes to witness. I mean, most of our can count to three, but it's so much much better when you are aided in the round count by supremely hot lady parts barely contained in skimpy bikinis. That's that new math I think they're teaching in the schools now. At least, it ought to be. It works. Enjoy.

Christina Milian Swimsuit Pictures Crackling Hot for the 4th of July

I guess Christina Milian is single once again. I can't keep up with her love life, I only know I want to put my name into that dance line at some point and give it a whirl myself. She just seems like a lot of bouncy MILFtastic fun.

The singer slash hot mommy was showing off in a swimsuit in Malibu over the 4th of July holiday weekend. If you happen to like the curvy sultry Latina ladies with a little cushion to love, then you will be head over heels for Christina in her patriotic bandana and everything Americana passion inducing beneath. Oh, to be able to slap that booty while watching the fireworks go off in the sky. That's my American dream. Enjoy.

Scary Spice Had An Hour Lesbionic Macking Session With Luann Lee; Let’s See Luann Nekkid in Playboy!

 

80's Playmate Luann Lee claims that Melanie Brown, aka Mel B, aka Scary Spice, aka X-Factor judge hottie popped into the disabled toilet at Planet Hollywood in Vegas right after her and proceeded to get it on in the toilet for an hour. This while Melanie's husband guarded the bathroom. Nice job if you can get it. I have no idea if this really happened or not, Luann seems to have plenty of details, but I'd like to think it happened. I celebrate lesbionics in all ways possible, especially between a veteran hottie Spice Girl and a 50-year old still hot ex-Playmate.

The Playboy.TV Free Week Offer for Independence Day Continues!

Naturally, I ran to our friends at PlayboyPlus for genuine nekkid photos of Luann from her Playmate days. She was rather smoking hot. She still is a good looking lady. Enough so that Melanie Brown chased her down into a toilet stall for some scissor kissing. I would ask that next time the two Sapphic leaning ladies not use the disabled stall as that is rather rude, albeit, I think we should make exceptions for lesbionic hotties going at it. Enjoy.

Fanny Neguesha Hot Bikini Body for WAGalicious Glory on Miami Beach

It's good to be a soccer star. Those foot kicking ballers may very well get more hot women than any other athletes. Especially during World Cup season. Mario Balotelli was showing off his latest and greatest WAG, Fanny Neguesha, on the beach in Miami after Mario's Italian team faded out of the Cup last week. I'm not saying I'm jealous of Mario, I'm also not saying I'm not jealous. I will say Fanny has quite the stellar wet bikini body emerging from the warm Atlantic waters and straight into my fantasy churning prurient mind. Oh, those sultry Latin girls do appeal to my innate sense of procreation.

One of these days I'm going find me my own wicked hot and curvy bikini model to call my own. But, first, I just need to become an international soccer star, land a seven figure contract, and get some rock hard abs. It's hard to say which will happen first, but when it does, Fanny, please pick up the phone, that'll be me calling. Enjoy.